How Parents Underestimate Kids' Ability to Do Chores

How Parents Underestimate Children's Ability to Do Chores

Though 82 percent of adults “regularly did chores as children, including cleaning, cooking, laundry and dishes…just 28 percent ask the same of their own kids,” according to a study. What gives? (Photo by Getty Images/Kraig Scarbinsky)  

My 4-year-old usually does laundry with me. Our routine is always the same: I pluck wet clothes from the washer and toss them to him one by one. He catches, chucks the stuff into the dryer, and seems to enjoy himself immensely. But one sock toss this time, I found myself thinking, “He could really just do this himself. Could I get him to do this himself? How amazing would it be if he just did this all by himself?”

In the little man’s preschool, after all, he practices sorting, pouring, and putting things in their place. That’s pretty much the gist of laundering clothes. But when I threw out the idea to friends I got blank stares – blank stares implying that having your child do your laundry crosses the line from being supportive to asking too much. 

Their reactions were actually pretty in line with recent data about parents, kids and household responsibilities. Though 82 percent of adults “regularly did chores as children, including cleaning, cooking, laundry and dishes…just 28 percent ask the same of their own kids,” according to a study commissioned by Whirlpool, reports the Chicago Tribune. 

Why? “There’s definitely a guilt component to it,” Shannan Welsh, a teacher at the Andover School of Montessori in Massachusetts, tells Yahoo Parenting. “Parents who work all day and don’t get to see their children until 6 p.m. may not want to feel like they’re making their child do chores.” Another anti-chore attitude that parenting coach Sharon Silver says many families hold is that “young kids should just play because there will be plenty of time for chores when they get older.” 

But even 2-year-olds are up for the challenge of performing age-appropriate tasks – regardless of whether parents recognize it. “Children as young as two or three can begin to understand the concept of responsibility,” Katy Collier, a pre-K teacher at Haines Elementary school in Haines, Oregon, tells Yahoo Parenting. Chores within this age group’s ability include cleaning up toys, hanging up their coat and putting shoes away, she says. 

By 3, your child can also ace folding towels, putting away utensils from the dishwasher, or putting utensils out at table settings for meals, says Welsh. “Preschoolers are probably too young, though, to be like, ‘Go do this’ and send them off,” she says. “You still need to be with them or close by whatever they’re doing.” Yet, like every skill, children develop their expertise at different paces, she adds. “So see where your child is at, what his or her abilities are, and go from there.” 

Check out your child's abilities from the chart below:

 

- Yahoo Parenting & Children’s chores chart by Maria Montessori